It’s not too late to make New Year’s resolutions. If you promised to exercise more, I’ve already seen you at my favorite running and biking spots. If you swore to, let’s say, swear less, did you survive stubbing your toe?
All too often, New Year’s resolutions are New Week resolutions. They fail, and then go back in the box until next year.
But over the years my friends and I have had extremely high success rate with very difficult New Year’s resolutions. There are techniques to getting it right. Here is your chance. I dare you.
Ten steps on crafting and executing New Year’s resolutions:
- Positive – This sounds very second grade, but psychologically it’s harder to “quit smoking” than it is to “become a non-smoker”. To quit something is bad, it requires restraint. To become something is good, it requires driving forward. That difference matters. Make your resolutions positive.
- Measurable – How can you possibly know by March if you’ve been “exercising more”? It’s too vague, it can’t be measured, and you’ll let things slide. Instead, make it specific, like “ride my bike three times a week”. You’ll know if you’re delivering, at least as long as you can count to three.
- Realistic but aspirational – Too often, our resolutions are designed to fix something we haven’t been able to fix so far – our weight, our habits, our perpetual 5 minute lateness. It might be something we’ve struggled with every new year’s. ”Egad, it’s been another year and I still haven’t applied to graduate school.” These are aspirations that you absolutely can accomplish. These are good resolution material. ”Become Master of Time, Space, and Dimension” is not. ”Find a spouse” is not.
- Consequences – What happens if you don’t move forward on your resolution this week? You need a consequence. You could give me $50, for example. Or, you could make a little bonfire in your living room with 50 $1 bills. Or you could give $50 to your most hated cause (this is a “negative commitment contract” and I blogged about stickK earlier). Whatever the consequence, it has to be significant enough to cause pain, otherwise it’s not consequential.
- Not too many, not too few – When I was at BCG, we had psychologists explain human memory and thought processes. Let me spare that particular pain by summarizing: you cannot easily remember a set of more than about 3 to 5 things. If you have more resolutions than that, you’ll forget some. Plus, your many resolutions may be more like a list. “Get bananas at Safeway” is not a good resolution.
- Write it down – The first of the process steps. Write down your specific, measurable resolutions. Post them on the wall, next to your computer, or carry them in your wallet or purse next to the photos of the kids.
- Edit and revise – Like a Hemingway novel, don’t expect the first draft to be perfect. You need an editor. That editor shouldn’t be you. Show your resolutions to someone. See if they understand. See if the resolutions are measurable from another perspective. Force yourself to explain your resolutions. All my resolutions get better when someone else tells me they are too easy, unmeasurable, or unobtainable.
- Tell everyone – You may have flinched when I suggested you show your resolutions to someone. This one is even harder. Tell everyone. Lead with your resolutions in conversation. Tell people you care about what you plan to accomplish resolution-wise this year. You could even, gulp, ask for their help and encouragement. I know, scary. But making external commitments is key. Another psychological tidbit – you are more likely to let yourself quietly fail than to publicly fail. If you really want to complete a resolution, if this is more than an idle waste of your time, tell everyone what you’re attempting. That’s why you give your marriage vow in public instead of to yourself.
- Create structure – Change requires dedication. Change requires time. Putting in place some structure will help with that. Put your exercise times in your calendar. Find other people to exercise with. Keep track of your calories on your iPhone. Put the guitar next to the couch and hide the TV remote. Heck, take the batteries out of the hidden TV remote. Put the TV on a timer that will turn it off after 15 minutes. Make the timer tamper-proof. Don’t disarm the timer. Don’t touch it even for a Desperate Housewives 2 hour special. Seriously, leave it alone. I mean it. Sometimes structure has to fill in for lack of discipline.
- Celebrate – At the end of the year, make sure you celebrate your successes. Another obvious psychology point – we like getting rewarded. That’s why some folks struggle with food, it was or is a reward. It is comfort. When accomplishing resolutions leads to a great big hullabaloo, then resolutions might become as vital to you as chocolate. OK, a bit of hyperbole, but you read this far so I thought I could get away with it.
- More than me – The bonus tip. All my examples of New Year’s resolutions have been about self-improvement. Intentionally. You didn’t even notice it as odd. But where else in your life are you so totally focused on yourself? Hopefully nowhere. Resolutions are no different. You need to make resolutions about your family, your community, or your country. Seriously, are you going to let another year go by with insufficient, unmeasured, or unfocused help to others? Is that what you wanted to be when you grew up? I. Didn’t. Think. So.
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